I am to blame…

I cried yesterday, hell my eyes didn’t even dry all the way before I found myself crying again. My heart aches, and it could have been avoided. One of my sisters and her children lost their lives, one of my sisters succumbed to that which was plaguing her; she will forever be remembered for how she died.  I failed her, her husband and their children; it was in part my fault…

Friday, May 6th, Danielle Biggs and her children, were found dead; the result of a suspected murder-suicide. I will not pretend to know what she was struggling with, what her anguish was a result of, I only know how my heart hurts. Almost as tragic is the way that the Biggs family was found; the deployed Airman (husband and father to the deceased) contacted neighbors via Facebook to check on his wife. I am not blaming the neighbors, I am blaming all of us- collectively it is our fault.

Honestly, we live in a community- DAMN IT, a COMMUNITY (that thing were we have a sense of responsibility to each other based on our commonalities) were we laud taking care of each other. Yet this sister and her children we failed, we failed tremendously. We failed in a way that can never be taken back, our attempts to correct our in-actions will never return her or her babies to their loved ones or our world.

It is our fault when we create a culture where it is seen as a weakness to ask for help. It is our fault when we see something wrong, but chose not to do something right. It is our fault when we create a culture where cyber attacks are acceptable. It is our fault when we encourage the idea that seeking helping would hurt our service members career. We are at fault when we value career more than life.

The only way we can attempt to rectify something so tragic is by making every effort to ensure it doesn’t happen again- EVERY EFFORT!!! Military Spouses of Strength announced last month that we were going to be closing; after this tragedy we have decided to re-brand. Military Spouses of Strength will still exist, but in a smaller capacity Our focus will be in providing mental health resources (never will we notify commands; however if suicidal or homicidal ideations are involved we will report to proper authorities), facilitating SOFA Talks, and being a daily source of encouragement.

Your help is needed- you HAVE to be the eyes and ears on the ground! You HAVE to be willing to step out of your comfort zone and reach out, even to those you might know, if you think they may be struggling; a false alarm is a relief compared to a house fire. One team, one fight.

Are we in this together? Are you in this with us?