I have good news. I feel good today. I’m reflecting on the week I’ve had and I feel good about it. I went on a long walk with a friend, went to breakfast with my dad, and had a good work week. I have even made plans to visit a friend next weekend for a little get away. This is a lot of socializing for me! At least lately it has been. I’ve even been sleeping through the night, which is probably contributing to all this energy. It’s perfect timing too, because my 15 year old is having a big birthday party tomorrow, I’ll need the extra umph! When I’m at my lowest, something like a birthday party will send me into isolation afterwards, some of you will know what I’m talking about.
I also went to therapy this week and things are starting to get interesting. I had to write down my 10 worst and ten best moments, starting as far back as I can remember. As we delve into each one, I have to describe how those things made me feel. Lonely, loved, anxious, etc. We’ve only gone through a few so far, but it’s interesting to see many of the bad ones had me feeling lonely. These exercises are necessary to do before EMDR therapy. I’m excited to be getting this started. This, by the way, is the upside of having no manic episodes for so long. When you’re manic, therapy consists of immediate problems being discussed every single session. My emotions, in those times, are a ticking time bomb. Lately, though things are pretty monotone with me, my fuse isn’t lit constantly.
Tonight, I go up in my Geodon, to 80 mg. So far, it’s improved my sleep greatly and I’ve seen slight increase in energy. My appetite is also decreasing. Tonight, I stop taking Respridol completely. This, I’m nervous about as getting off medications is not something I do easily. With my busy weekend ahead, a bad reaction will not be welcomed. I’ll let you know how it goes.