The ups and downs

I have to just say it, this week sucked! I’m taking 2mgs of Respridal this week instead of the 3 and again I’m not sleeping well! I had three nights in a row of only catching three hours! I’m too old for this! I dis sleep good last night, but nowadays it takes more than one night to make up for all I’ve lost. Good news is that the itchy skin is gone. Although I don’t see my doctor for another two weeks, (my insurance only covers two visits every six weeks), I have a feeling we will be doing a change of meds. 2mgs isn’t enough for me, 3mgs makes me itch! This does not make me happy!

I’ve also noticed that I have no patience at all and I’m easily aggravated, as my family can attest to, as well as the poor pharmacist who caught the brunt of my irritation this morning. I’ve also not worked out this week, at all! I am just simply too exhausted. As I write this, I’m wearing my workout clothes though, in hopes that this will inspire me to get off my but and get those endorphins flowing! We shall see.

I feel lousy. I feel like every morning, when I get up, I’m fighting depression. I just want to lay in bed all day and watch Netflix, and think about how my life sucks. The problem is that my life doesn’t suck, so I have nothing to complain about. Sure, things the past couple of weeks have been challenging. But, I’m not suffering from any great illness, my husband and children are healthy and I am employed. It doesn’t seem to matter though, because I constantly have to fight the thoughts in my head that want to keep me in bed. I guess this is what I have always fought. Sometimes I lose the battle, but this week, today, I’m winning it. Because although I have these thoughts running through my head, I did get up this morning and am even wearing workout clothes! It may not seem like much to those that are close to me, but the truth is, it’s a great accomplishment. So for right now, I’m going to be proud!
So, until next week, aloha!

This entry was posted in Blog - Jennifer's Journey to Strength, Family, Mental Health, Treatment, Uncategorized and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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