Well, sleeping through the night seems to be a thing of the past now. I’m back to sleeping one or two hours at a time, then waking up for an hour before the cycle starts all over again. Last night I woke up four times. I’m so sad! I’m also taking over the limit on my Requip, my meds for my RLS (restless leg syndrome). This means a trip to the doctor to see if something else will work, or I’ll have to change my crazy pills! (Please don’t be offended by that, it’s funny). I’ve also developed breast sensitivity, which is more cumbersome than it sounds, because it downright hurts. THIS is why I hate med changes!
I was able to take a week off from work for Christmas vacation, which was great. However, I can’t seem to sit still for long. I’m constantly trying to relax. I’m up and down all day doing this chore or that chore, running to the grocery, cleaning, organizing or thinking about what I can do next. This is not relaxing! The only significant change that’s still positive, is my attitude and overall happiness. I’ve truly enjoyed my family this past week. I wasn’t overwhelmed with all the noise that accompanies a house with six people in it. I wasn’t aggravated at all, which is a nice change. The only thing I have noticed any anxiety creeping in, is driving! My stomach feels like I’m on a roller coaster when I’m driving or while in a moving car! Especially at night. Those who know me well, know I have struggled with car anxiety forever. After my last job had me driving all over every day, it got better. A lot better. Then, all of a sudden really, driving home from work had me doing some deep breathing and clenching the steering wheel! I HATE it.
So to summarize, my sleeping sucks, I have to change my RLS meds, I can’t drive without a panic attack, and I can’t sit still! This, my friends, is my life! The good thing is that my attitude is still fabulous. However, if I go another couple weeks with bad sleep, I know that will most likely change as well. My next appointment isn’t for another week, so hopefully things dont change too much more before then.
But, this is the reason I wanted to do this blog. This is hard stuff. These drugs I’m taking have a TON of side effects. And I’m sure to develop at least a few. But, this is why it’s important to keep seeing your doctor. This is why it’s important to see a doctor that listens to you! In the past, I would have definitely told my doctor these things, but he would NOT have done anything about it. He’d tell me to do some yoga and keep on taking the meds. Seriously, he really would have. However, Dr. Sobel will hear me when I update him. I know he will take everything into consideration and do some tweaking until we find my happy place. I have every confidence that this man will hear my every complaint and help me.
That is why you need to find a doctor that hears you. That is why it’s important to support those going through a med change. This is some serious stuff. This is not an easy task, and any person or doctor that treats it as such, is not very educated in their field. These drugs mess with chemicals in your brain! It is not something we can control just by trying hard enough. So, make sure you are observant of changes your friend is experiencing. Be patient of your spouses sudden anxiety. Be supportive of your child by making notes of the changes you see and bring them to appointments. But most importantly, make sure you are seeking the best possible care for yourself! Because, you matter, you are worth it and you will get to your happy place with support, understanding and patience….tons of patience.
Although my honeymoon has a few hiccups, I know it’s not over. I have good support and great medical care. I will find my happy.