I have now been taking Respridal for two weeks and I’m pretty surprised. I actually feel, shall I say, normal? I sleep through the night, my thoughts aren’t racing 24/7 and I am taking pleasure in things again. The only physical side effect is that my restless leg syndrome requires higher doses of meds to control at night. But, what’s surprising, is the mental side effect. I keep thinking, “is this normal? Why am I smiling like a lunatic? Why don’t my shoulders feel as tense?” I mean, don’t get me wrong, all of this is great news, but am I really better? I keep thinking that of course things are good. My daughter’s not in the hospital, my grand daughter is fine and healthy, the other kids are in good spirits and my husband seems content. So, yes, right now I feel “normal”. The thing that sucks about this, is that I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop. The fact is, I could just be in a happy ‘manic’ state.
I’m pretty stable right now, and that does feel incredible. Like taking a deep breath after struggling to inhale for so long. But what will happen when things get hard again? Will my emotions be stable during a crisis? A fight with my husband? I don’t really know the answer and that’s really bugging me. But, I guess I just need to be patient.
I have a decision to make concerning my job as well. With all the appointments I have for not only me, but my grand daughter and children as well, working fourty hours is proving too much. I’m out the door by nine most mornings, and don’t come home until well after seven at night. And let’s not forget all that I must get done in the housework department as well. I’m simply doing too much and it’s exhausting. I’ll be talking to my therapist about this at today’s appointment, after my MRI appointment and right before my eight hour job. See what I mean?
I did talk to my therapist about work. She said taking an extra day, not on the weekend, just to relax, would be ideal for me. She explained that I absolutely needed a day where NO appointments were scheduled at all, no family obligations or busy work. Just a Jenn Day to relax. I totally agree. She also said that she’s been telling me this for months. Yah, okay, I’m a tad stubborn. So, I went to work and told my awesome boss that I can no longer work on Mondays, and he didn’t even ask why. I have told him a little of what’s going on with me, so he’s not totally surprised.
I can’t wait until my first Monday off! I’m going to start doing some yoga and get back into running again! And I’ve already told my daughter to not schedule any appointments on Mondays! I’m so excited.
I’ve gone down another 75mg on my Effexor this week too. I’m getting some headaches but no other withdrawal symptoms. I’m glad it’s going so well because when I’d forget to take my meds just one day, I’d have horrible symptoms. It would feel like my brain was literally rattling around in my skull, my stomach would cramp terribly and I’d be prone to migraines. Just awful.
So, another week down and all is going so smoothly! Let’s just pray it continues!